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Christopher Coulter and his wife, Emily, were engaging in
bondage games when Christopher suggested spreading peanut
butter on his genitals and letting Rudy, their Irish Setter,
lick them clean.
Sadly, Rudy lost control and began tearing
at Christopher's penis and testicles. Rudy refused to obey
commands and a panicked Emily threw a half-gallon bottle of
perfume at the dog. The bottle broke, covering the dog and
Christopher with perfume. Startled, Rudy leaped back,
tearing away the penis.
While trying to get her unconscious husband in the car to
take him to the hospital, Emily fell twice, injuring her
wrist and ankle. Christopher's penis was in a Styrofoam ice
cooler.
"Chris is just plain lucky," said the surgeon who spent
eight hours reattaching the penis. "Believe it or not, the
perfume turned out to be very fortuitous. The high alcohol
content, which must have been excruciatingly painful, helped
sterilize the wound.
Also, aside from its being removed, the damage caused by the
dog's teeth to the penis per se is minimal. It's really a
very stringy piece of flesh. Mr. Coulter stands an excellent
chance of regaining the use of his limb because of this."
Washington Animal Control has no plans to seize Rudy.
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Attorney Antonio Mendoza was released from a trauma centre
after having a cell phone removed from his rectum. "My dog
drags the thing all over the house," he said later.
"He must have dragged it into the shower. I slipped on the
tile, tripped against the dog and sat down right on the
thing." The extraction took more than three hours due to the
fact that the cover to Mr. Mendoza's phone had opened during
insertion.
"He was a real trooper during the entire episode," said Dr.
Dennis Crobe. "Tony just cracked jokes and really seemed to
be enjoying himself. Three times during the extraction his
phone rang and each time, he made jokes about it that just
had us rolling on the floor.
By the time we finished, we really did expect to find an
answering machine in there." |
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Four people were injured in a string of bizarre accidents.
Sherry Moeller was admitted with a head wound caused by
flying masonry, Tim Vegas was diagnosed with a mild case of
whiplash and contusions on his chest, arms and face, Bryan
Corcoran suffered torn gum tissue, and Pamela Klesick's
first two fingers of her right hand had been bitten off.
Moeller had just dropped her husband off for his first day
of work and, in addition to a good-bye kiss, she flashed her
breasts at him "I'm still not sure why I did it," she said
later. "I was really close to the car, so I didn't think
anyone would see.
Besides, it couldn't have been for more than two seconds."
However, cab driver Vegas did see and lost control of his
cab, running over the curb and into the corner of the
Johnson Medical Building. Inside, Klesick, a dental
technician, was cleaning Corcoran's teeth.
The crash of the cab against the building making her jump,
tearing Corcoran's gums with a cleaning pick. In shock, he
bit down, severing two fingers from Klesick's hand.
Moeller's wound was caused by a falling piece of the medical
building. |
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