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The
following is an actual question given on
a University of Washington chemistry mid
term.
The answer by one student was so
'profound', that the professor shared it
with his colleagues via the Internet,
which is, of course, why we now have the
pleasure of enjoying it as well:
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic
(gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs
heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of
their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas
cools when it expands and heats when it
is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the
following:
First, we need to know how the mass of
Hell is changing in time. So we need to
know the rate at which souls are moving
into Hell and the rate at which they are
leaving I think that we can safely
assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it
will not leave. Therefore, no souls are
leaving. As for how many souls are
entering Hell, let's look at the
different religions that exist in the
world today.
Most of these religions state that if
you are not a member of their religion,
you will go to Hell. Since there is more
than one of these religions and since
people do not belong to more than one
religion, we can project that all souls
go to Hell. With birth and death rates
as they are, we can expect the number of
souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of
the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law
states that in order for the temperature
and pressure in Hell to stay the same,
the volume of Hell has to expand
proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate
than the rate at which souls enter Hell,
then the temperature and pressure in
Hell will increase until all Hell breaks
loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster
than the increase of souls in Hell, then
the temperature and pressure will drop
until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me
by Teresa during my Freshman year that,
'It will be a cold day in Hell before I
sleep with you,' and take into account
the fact that I slept with her last
night, then number two must be true, and
thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic
and has already frozen over. The
corollary of this theory is that since
Hell has frozen over, it follows that it
is not accepting any more souls and is
therefore, extinct......leaving only
Heaven, thereby proving the existence of
a divine being which explains why, last
night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.
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