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GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE
LEARNED: |
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1) No matter how hard you try, you can't
baptise cats. |
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2) When your Mum is mad at your Dad,
don't let her brush your hair. |
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3) If your sister hits you, don't hit
her back. They always catch the second
person. |
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4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to
hold a tomato. |
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5) You can't trust dogs to watch your
food. |
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6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting
your hair. |
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7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at
the same time. |
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8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in
a glass of milk. |
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9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under
white shorts. |
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10) The best place to be when you're sad
is Grandpa's lap. |
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GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED: |
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1) Raising teenagers is like nailing
jelly to a tree. |
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2) Wrinkles don't hurt. |
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3) Families are like fudge...mostly
sweet, with a few nuts.. |
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4) Today's mighty oak is just
yesterday's nut that held its ground. |
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5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like
jogging on the inside. |
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6) Middle age is when you choose your
cereal for the fibre, not the toy. |
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GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD |
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1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up
is optional. |
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2) Forget the health food. I need all
the preservatives I can get. |
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3) When you fall down, you wonder what
else you can do while you're down there. |
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4) You're getting old when you get the
same sensation from a rocking chair that
you |
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4) You're getting old when you get the
same sensation from a rocking chair that
you once got from a roller coaster. |
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5) It's frustrating when you know all
the answers but nobody bothers to ask
you the questions. |
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6) Time may be a great healer, but it's
a lousy beautician. |
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7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes
age comes alone. |
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THE
FOUR STAGES OF LIFE: |
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1) You believe in Santa Claus. |
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2) You don't believe in Santa Claus. |
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3) You are Santa Claus. |
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4) You look like Santa Claus. |
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SUCCESS: |
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At age 04 success is . . . not piddling
in your pants. |
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At age 12 success is . . . having
friends. |
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At age 17 success is . . having a
drivers licence. |
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At age 35 success is . .. having money. |
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At age 50 success is . . . having money. |
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At age 70 success is . .. . having a
drivers licence. |
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At age 75 success is . . . having
friends. |
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At age 80 success is . . . not piddling
in your pants. |
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Pass
this on to someone who could use a
laugh. |
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Always remember to forget the troubles
that pass your way; |
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BUT
NEVER forget the blessings that come
each day. |
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Have
a wonderful day with many *smiles* |
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Take
the time to live!!! |
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Life
is too short. Dance naked. |
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