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TESTICULATING. Waving your arms around
and talking Bollocks. |
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BLAMESTORMING. Sitting around in a
group, discussing why a deadline was
missed or a project failed, and who was
responsible. |
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SEAGULL MANAGER. A manager, who flies
in, makes a lot of noise, craps on
everything, and then leaves. |
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ASSMOSIS. The process by which people
seem to absorb success and advancement
by sucking up to the boss rather than
working hard. |
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SALMON DAY. The experience of spending
an entire day swimming upstream only to
get screwed and die. |
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CUBE FARM. An office filled with
cubicles. |
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PRAIRIE DOGGING. When someone yells or
drops something loudly in a cube farm,
and people's heads pop up over the walls
to see that's going on. (This also
applies to applause for a promotion
because there may be cake.) |
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SITCOMs. Single Income, Two Children,
Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn
into when they have children and one of
them stops working to stay home with the
kids or start a "home business". |
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SINBAD. single working girls. Single
income, no boyfriend and desperate. |
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STRESS PUPPY. A person who seems to
thrive on being stressed out and whiny. |
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PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE. The fine art of
whacking the crap out of an electronic
device to get it to work again. |
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ADMINISPHERE. The rarefied
organisational layers beginning just
above the rank and file. Decisions that
fall from the "adminisphere" are often
profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant
to the problems they were designed to
solve. This is often affiliated with the
dreaded "administrivia" - needless
paperwork and processes. |
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404. Someone who's clueless. >From the
World Wide Web error message "404 Not
Found," meaning that the requested
document could not be located. |
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OHNOSECOND. That minuscule fraction of
time in which you realize that you've
just made a BIG mistake (e.g. you've hit
'reply all') |
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GOING FOR A McSHIT. Entering a fast food
restaurant with no intention of buying
food, you're just going to the bog. If
challenged by a pimply staff member,
your declaration to them that you'll buy
their food afterwards is known as a
McShit with Lies. |
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AEROPLANE BLONDE. One who has
bleached/dyed her hair but still has a
'black box'. |
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AUSSIE KISS. Similar to a French Kiss,
but given down under. |
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BEER COAT. The invisible but warm coat
worn when walking home after a booze
cruise at 3am. |
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BEER COMPASS. The invisible device that
ensures your safe arrival home after
booze cruise, even though you're too
drunk to remember where you live, how
you got here, and where you've come
from. |
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GREYHOUND. A very short skirt, only an
inch from the hare. |
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MILLENNIUM DOMES. The contents of a
Wonderbra, i.e. extremely impressive
when viewed from the outside, but
there's actually naught in there worth
seeing. |
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MONKEY BATH. A bath so hot, that when
lowering yourself in, you go:"Oo!Oo!Oo!
Aa!Aa!Aa!". |
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MYSTERY BUS. The bus that arrives at the
pub on Friday night while you're in the
toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks
away all the unattractive people so the
pub is suddenly packed with stunners
when you come back in. |
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MYSTERY TAXI. The taxi that arrives at
your place on Saturday morning before
you wake up, whisks away the stunner you
slept with, and leaves a 10-Pinter in
your bed instead. |
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PICASSO BUM. A woman whose knickers are
too small for her, so she looks like
she's got four buttocks |
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SALAD DODGER. An excellent phrase for an
overweight person |
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SWAMP-DONKEY A deeply unattractive
person |
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TART FUEL. Bottled premixed spirits,
regularly consumed by young women - Jam
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